Do You Have Spiritual Sex?
We all know sex can be a powerful way to connect spiritually (tantra has been telling us this for eons). But, because of the thick density of daily life (body pain, the hyper-focus on purely the physical or the ego’s busy job of distraction) it is very easy to forget that we are primarily Souls having a human experience. One of our main spiritual assignments on earth is to embody the Soul (or bring the Soul more into the physical body from the astral realm). Sex is an incredible means to allow the Soul permission to enter and move the body while you discover yourself as a spiritual, (and not only physical), being. We then connect back to our energetic (or light) body and spend time in the powerful spiritual reality of two Souls truly meeting while experiencing Love-bliss together. Yet, sex can be tricky because it is an area where so many of us hold intense wounding. From the ridiculous pressure and sexual programming placed upon both women and men to the trauma of sexual assault, many of us have been disappointed by what sex has had to offer us. Most of our sexual training has either been through clumsy sexual experiences (where we felt far from being spiritually fulfilled) or the shallow role-focused images from porn and the media. So, how do we have sex with Soul?
- Follow The Energy
To have spiritual sex you first need to connect to spirit. One great way to do this is to try the ancient practice of Eye gazing. Eye gazing brings us into the moment while connecting to the Soul of your partner. Don’t have a partner? You can still practice connecting to your own Soul in the body, energetically. You can practice eye gazing with your own Soul in the mirror or explore authentic movement. Authentic movement is moving the body how it wants to move instead of forcing it to move from an idea (or head space). Some refer to this as the feeling you were being danced instead of dancing. Then you can move, dance and have sex from Soul where you enjoy the experience of being “in the flow”. You can practice this at home in silence, with music or during a class like 5 rhythms or Nia, where the emphasis is on feeling instead of performance. You begin to notice when you are in the energy of what your body wants to be doing and when you are pushing, forcing or resisting where your body wants to go (which is absolutely essential for Soul Sex).
- Drop the Role for Soul
Because of the powerful spiritual potential of sex, we often hunger for true sexual connection but our society’s understanding of sex is far from mature. The result is we often bark up the wrong tree: using sexual moments for validation and confirmation of our worthiness or to “get off” sexually and experience release, absent from Soul. Especially in porn images, women are caught in the role of pleasing vs. actually coming from and honoring their true Soulful sexual energy (which is an incredible bummer, in heterosexual relationships, not only for the women involved but ultimately, the men as well!). If we act as a role during sex we will feel lack after (or during) the act. Especially after orgasm, it is often very clear what energy the sexual experience relied upon. If you are playing a part (which is especially tempting if you are an empath), you will feel defeated, disconnected , withdrawn, or sad after sex. If you connect to your Soul and the Soul of your partner during sex, then after it’s over, you feel closer to your partner and connected to your authentic Self.
- Notice Your Feelings
It can be easy to get “caught up” in a sexual act, so it is essential to continually check-in and notice how you are actually feeling. If you are experiencing a nagging feeling that something is not right, it probably isn’t. If you feel uncomfortable, ask yourself what is going on and if you can do anything about it. Sex is a common place to re-traumatize yourself if you cut off from what your Soul is telling you.
- It’s Ok to Stop, and Reconnect
Avoid the pressure to race to orgasm. It is common to get trapped into pleasing from a role, or overly focused on the physical aspects of sex (hyper focus on the sex organs). Instead stay with Soul. Soul sex connects you to the depth of feeling pulsing throughout the whole body. To avoid hyper focus on the sexual organs, expand your awareness and notice how your legs and feet are feeling or your heart center. This somatic awareness brings you into the moment and out of your heady ideas or sexual programming. Don’t let the “heat of the moment” turn down the heat from the Soul.